All That I Can’t Hold On To

I wish for a reason
To remain whole
When all I want
Is to be dismantled
These hands, calloused and scarred
Extend beyond my grasp
My tongue expels banter
That I wouldn’t utter
Eyes willfully see
What I wouldn’t wish to perceive
The things I do to myself
As a result
I wish to be deconstructed
To be reassembled
Within another body
For I scarcely recognize
This boy anymore